My Meltdown of the Week

It’s been quite a while since my last blog post. If I’m being honest, this was my biggest fear in starting this blog. That I wouldn’t be able to keep up with it to the level that I wanted to. But God made it clear that I was to start it anyway. After all, it’s not about what I want, but what He wants, right!?

Confession: I have this desire to make sure I do everything in my life with excellence. And I want to be top dog in every area. I hate when I start something and can’t give it my full focus. This ironically has become the story of my life recently. (You think maybe God is trying to teach me a lesson in this area!?)

I know some people spend their whole lives wondering what they are called to do. I have never felt that. From early on in my adult life, I have been given glimpses of things that I know God is telling me I am to fulfill. The problem is that I want to take all of my focus and run toward that one area. I want to tackle it and be the best that has ever walked the earth. I can easily neglect every other area of my life and convince myself that I am just doing what God wants me to do. But I don’t believe that’s true. Yes, God may be calling me down a certain path, but what makes me think I can control the speed in which I get there or the number of detours my life will take along that path.

Can I be honest and vulnerable with you for a moment? I am in a season of life that can feel so frustrating. I feel pulled in 500 directions every single day. I know so many of you can relate. I am a mom. A wife. An entrepreneur. A business partner. A caregiver. A homemaker. A leader. A mentor. A friend. The list could go on for days. And each one of those titles comes with its own responsibilities. But I’m one person and there simply is not time to do it all. So no matter what, there is always at least one area that feels like it’s getting my leftovers. I often feel like I’m one mis-step away from having my whole life unravel.

Can you relate? Do you ever feel held back or overwhelmed by different obligations in your life?

I recently had this meltdown (like full on crying, whining meltdown). My poor husband. I sat and cried to him, telling him how I felt that God had revealed to me what I am meant to do, but I am so tied down between my other obligations that I just can’t do what I want with it. It can feel like torture sometimes to not be able to truly go after the things you want.

My husband graciously listened to my meltdown and reminded me that it may not be time for those dreams to be brought to life yet. And he was right. God sometimes has to keep us in those frustracting places for a while to remind us that we are NOT in control!

After all, the Bible doesn’t say “Let Sheena’s will be done, on her timeline and according to her plan.” Can you imagine? I am so glad God doesn’t do that. He knows that His ways are far better than ours will ever be. And He will work them out according to his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

So whatever it is in your life that you so desperately desire, let it go! Release yourself from the need to control it and let God bring it to life in His timing. Because our true purpose can only be brought to life if God is the one breathing life into it.

Digging Deeper:

1) Do you feel like God has given you a sense of direction for your life? Do you know what you have been called to?

2) Are there areas of your life where you may be holding yourself back from God’s goodness because you are too afraid to let go and turn over the control?

3) What could you do today to remind yourself that God is the author and perfector of your life?

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